If This Was My Long-Lost Mother, I'd Prefer To Stay Long-Lost

So apparently this dude-chick was out in the wild just casually searching for her son. Think about if you're the son in this situation. First off, no matter how much hair she has on her face, it's going to be weird to meet your mother after 33 years. To especially salt your situation your mom is in a wheelchair with the ICING on the cake being the legit Ming Dynasty beard going. At least touch that shit up mom. Hit the salon or something.

Can we talk about this little bandana number she's trying to pull? It's not distracting from your Cousin It thing going on.