The Joys of Camping

When the Boss is away the employees will play...

CEO Dub Jeezy is currently at a camp site somewhere upstate in the woods near the cornfields. I took a pass on this trip due to family obligations. Despite my legit reasoning for not taking part in these outdoor activities, it wasn't necessarily the most difficult decision to opt out. Assuming Dub makes his way back by Monday, he'll be able to fill you in on every wrong turn that undeniably and unequivocally took place on this camping trip. Until then I guess the blog is mine, and to start I think it's only appropriate to dish out a list of top 5 'fuck this' while camping moments...

1) When mosquito's attack: What are the odds that one of the six in the group remembered bug spray during their time enjoying the New England summer outdoors? I'm gonna predict the bugs are in for a treat.

2) Setting up the tent: Should cover the first hour or two...maybe three. Sort of like what you see in road construction where one guy pulls his weight while the handful of others look on with blank stares.

3) Starting a fire: This will be an all night struggle no doubt. It probably rained the night before so there won't be a dry log in the joint. The site will then charge for wood which is just completely absurd. This will result in dumping gas on the flames every 10 minutes or so (that's kind of fun actually).

4) Wildlife: Who knows what's prowling around in the wilderness. Worms, snakes, skunks, bears, the works. It's a survival of the fittest attitude out there.

5) Sleeping arrangements: Somebody is getting kicked out of the tent. Fact. You might have thought you came prepared with two warm blankets and a pillow to start, but by morning you're left with nothing but the shirt on your back...only to find the bastard you originally kicked out got his revenge, stealing your shit before you could even react in the early hours.

Think any or all of these factors play a role on this weekend getaway? I'll say four out of five with confidence. I guess we'll just have to wait for the Boss himself. That said, maybe I'm still missing out on one hell of a time...