Can We Talk About After A Year Of Blogging, I Haven't Milked $1 Out Of You People?

Seriously, though? One year--$0 to show for it. I thought I'd be living on a yacht blogging from Tahiti at this point. Instead I'm chillin' on a half-couch-type-thing that's questionably stable, blogging while absolutely hammered. Truly a night and day dream/real-life scenario. Like I couldn't be more opposite from that yacht, Scrooge McDuck dream sequence I have every night. Every single night. No nightmares or strange transcendent dreams like normal people, just Dub Jeezy acting out the title sequence from Ducktales replacing Scrooge as he dives into a pile of coins. Now that's something I'd like to address. My man Scrooge was taking a 30 foot dive into some coins. Coins don't have much give or take to them, so if that was a realistic scenario of a well-dressed duck getting tossed into a pool of coins, the duck would be extremely dead. And let's not even address the issues of taking all of these coins to the local CoinStar. We all know the government secretly put a ban on buying things with coins.

I digress. Back to how no one is clicking the fucking ads. I know they are as poorly placed as can be, but I ask you to scroll down, click the ad for Terminix and give me an opportunity to feed my kids out here. I don't have kids, but I really want one, but not for serious. If you understood that you should work to get me a child without going to jail or impregnating/being pregnant with one. To be honest, I don't even know what this post is about anymore.

I'm drunk and you should be too. Have a spectabulous weekend. Spectabulous. Buzz word of the next two days. Use it and Pee-Wee's Playhouse shit will definitely start happening at the bar you are at.