Why LeBron Is Instantly Throwing This Series As Fast As Possible

^for those of you watching (or watched) the Celtics game, it has to be completely obviously that LeBron is mailing this game and this series in. Here's why...

The rewards offered by "Scores" for LBJ if he decides to come to the Knicks in the offseason:

- A free lifetime of lap dances
- A "LeBron James Day" when all the strippers will wear his jersey
- And free food for life at the strip club's very own steakhouse

By god. I've never seen a more appealing offer in my life. You can ask me to do just about anything if this was my prize. I'd even be fine with still having "LeBron James Day" instead of my own day. Where else would you have the option to straight up eat a $100 Steak off the body of a top notch stripper? Nowhere, that's where. So you best believe LeBron's elbow will be mysteriously flaring up midway through the third quarter and he'll be unable to play the rest of the series.

Honestly, is this the best deal ever?