Straight Up Facebooking Someone You Don't Know At All

I wish there was a job that entailed the title of this post because I'd be the Bill Gates/Steve Jobs/and ironically the Mark Zuckerberg of that shit. Sure it's easy to just close your eyes and pick a random person (hopefully chick) to friend, but there's more of an intricate art about it.

For example, this evening I was reading one of my favorite sites, when they presented me with a Twitter address of an allegedly funny/abrasive girl. At first I laughed at the idea because such a thing doesn't exist, but I looked into it and she was, in fact, funny and abrasive. By God. For those of you that know me, you know that there is no Facebook riddle I can't solve. Friends used to come up to me and say "there's this girl in my Econ class that is so sexy, that sits in the front row." Within 5 minutes I'll have her grill up on my Facebook, and I'm not even in that class. When you give me class rosters, campus directories, and a "Guess Who" like mind in deciphering chicks' seat preference, what do you expect? Being good at Facebook creeping is like being good at crime. You don't want to be good at it, but you it's your cross to bear. I have to just best use my talent for good like Robin Hood stole from the rich to give to the poor.

Anyway, I read her Tweets, got the necessary info, and friended her. She confirmed because she saw my dashing/powerfully sexy profile picture and within a few minutes of me creeping her, she FB chatted me. A creeper's worst fear! She asked what made me friend her. In what normally would have been a patented Dub Jeezy white lie that would have involved some combination of me faking being foreign or saying that she friended me, I chose to tell the truth. I told her I found her through said site and really enjoyed her Twitter. In more words than one, I basically said, "I would like to electronically date you." In a surprising play on her part, she laughed it off, thanked me and I happened to tell her about this blog--she said she'd check it out.

So here's to you girl that said, she'd read this blog. You dispelled rumors that creepers can't prosper and form potentially lasting business (and real) relationships between Twitter and WMD. Dub "The Robin Hood Of The Internet" Jeezy, thanks you.