Could I Succeed in Global Guts?

If Mike O'Malley came to my doorstep and challenged me to duel a pair of 12-year old international phenoms in a race to the top of the Super Aggro-Crag...I might just freeze. The Super Nova Irena and Tiger Rachel would destroy me...and also check out how Ricardo absolutely crushed that Tornado run. I was always intimidated by the challenging tasks in each Guts episode, but I certainly got discouraged when that shit went global. And did you hear what Mike had to say at 1:50...

"We are now at the Crag and boy has it evolved. First it was the Aggro-Crag and then it evolved into the Mega-Crag, now the SUPER - AGGRO - CRAG. Bigger, sharper, and filled with more surprises and more obstacles then ever before. Players begin in Boulder Canyon, where blistering blasts of venomous vapors erupt from the canyon floor. Then its up through Switch-Back Bend, with volcanic boulders ready to explode at the slightest touch. Lurking ahead, Avalanche Ledge. Ultra sharp fires and rumbling rocks, ready to roll. From there, its a hard solo on the ice wall straight through the falling sheet of snow protecting the Crag peak. And all the while, our players will be facing the sound, and the fury, of a molten volcano that is ready to blow! YOU WANT RULES!? I GOTCHA MO.....MO!!!"

Jesus Mike can I get you a glass of water or something? How are these kids ready to take on Indoor Everest after watching O'Malley practically pass out just describing it. I'd take my helmet off as soon as Mo started giving out the rules. If I did end up taking a shot I'd be done at Switch-Back Bend for sure with my own physical Guts all over the floor.

But seriously though, the Tiger is just gonna scale the Crag in less than 20 seconds? What the hell was that all about? Were NCAA coaches scouting Guts with hopes to bring in some early recruits? I don't know, but I think it might be a good time for the release of the Super-Mega-Aggro-How-The-Fuck-Do-I-Climb-This-Crag as part of the further revamped Guts 2010.