5 Reasons Why You Go On Facebook

^sorry guys, this pic scares me too.

1-You're undoubtedly creeping: This one's obvious. Not really a shocker or anything mind-blowing. It's like a situation when you know you kind of smell and someone tells you that you smell. You knew you smelled, someone recognized it, and now you feel embarrassed even though you smelled like shit to begin with. It all starts with clicking that Facebook button in your bookmarks/favorites section. You don't know why you did it. You see that person X uploaded some new photos of Spring Break, you recognize that person X looks pretty good, and after 227 pics in a row, you just spent a week in Cancun. Like clockwork. You notice person Y wrote on person X's wall. What were they talking about you ask? Like Chris Brown did in '05, you're jumping from Wall-to-Wall. We all do it, nothing to be ashamed of.

2-You're super self-conscious about your pics: Saturday night got fuckin' crazy right? How crazy? Well according to Person X's pics, you pissed and vomited on yourself at the same time. There's also this incriminating pic of you making out with person Y at the staircase when you know your GF has a chance of seeing these pics. You detag that shit with the quickness, you have a rep to uphold. Girls are the main culprits. If you aren't looking pristine, there is no chance that picture will be up while someone is (see reason #1) checking out your pics. Oh and pictures with your eyes closed..forget about it.

3-You lost your fucking phone: I know co-blogger Mack touched on this awhile back, but this shit is an epidemic. Yes, it's practical, but I don't want to know about your phone falling in the toilet, or a puddle, or left in a cab, or hit with a nuclear bomb. You get in, get the information you need, and get out. Sad part is, I know as soon as I undoubtedly lose my phone, first place I am going is FB. Only if "lose my phone" secretly means, "I have my phone, but I just want to snag some pity numbers from some hotties thinking my phone got run over by a steam roller."

4-You want people to come to your theme party: I was in college before. I know that in order to get people to come to your awesome "70s Party" , you have to go to that shitty event page, make some stuff up about your location, then drop like 7 in-succession jokes in the description so people will want to come. Plus you promise a ton of booze and a guarantee of "Disturbia" playing. Again, it's practical and saves time for the lazy guy that wants to incognito-ly invite roughly 175 girls, no dudes, and make the event information a secret. Trust me, if you are cool (which you are if you're reading this), you've done some variation of this.

5-To promote your band, business, or BLOG: Facebook has sprouted like 100 legs and is off and running in directions no one knows. This one is for the people..I think. Because Myspace is creepy as shit and people don't really like interacting face-to-face anymore, Facebook created a way for people to listen to and read everyone's shit. Once you guys get that thing you want to promote, you're using this. Hell, this entire post was a ploy to get you to go to WMD's Facebook Fan Page (click it). Either way, I appreciate if you clicked it and "liked" it as well. You're just plain special.

PS. If you're a fan of good music, you might as well click the Stereo Drive-By Fan Page too.