Welcome To The Jungle

Call me Baloo up in this bitch because it's going to get dumb tonight. Dumb as in, this is one of those classic blog moments where I think this is going to be my final post because I am going to die this weekend type of things.

Syracuse, NY, the setting of this weekend's debauchery, will feature a themed party that has been going on since the dawn of parties. The Jungle-Theme party. And it is exactly like the picture shown above. Monkeys with mallets and color-controllers everywhere. Just replace the monkeys with hot sorority girls, the mallets with beers, and the controllers with me and we have ourselves a realistic image of what this place is going to be like. Seriously though, I need this. This 9-5 (or 3, or whenever I work) is killing me, literally. I'm sick like 8 times a week, I get injured before I think about doing something athletic, and I'm becoming a robot, but like a worthless one on the C3PO level.

So you best believe I'm going to go lose my mind in there like your mom used to read about and act a fool. At this point I don't know when this will ever happen again and that's sad. I'm going to be like the Shawn "Heartbreak Kid" Michaels of wild parties tonight. It's going to be my swan song and my jersey is going to be put up in the rafters while the tears stream down my cheeks.