It's Probably For The Best Gordon Hayward's Shot Didn't Go In

^of course it's a 3 ref, put your arms down...

So, my heart just started beating at a normal clip following Monday's National Championship between Duke and Butler. As much as I hate Duke and developed a bandwagon love for Butler, I had to respect the effort of both teams. Never have I seen so many well executed screens, perfect jumpshots, and poor displays of athleticism. Did I mention this was the whitest final since like 1957? Anyway, race aside, this was a ball game. Almost too much of a ball game...

I had my laptop in my, um, lap most of the game, to creep and fiddle around during commercials. This proved to be more dangerous than I thought. Because I am a washed up athlete myself, the surge of basketball excitement brings me right back into my glory days like a Vietnam vet cries when he sees an explosion on TV. Too much? Eh, nah, we're edgy. Anyway, I am grabbing the sides of my computer like it's not worth a shit ton of money (many a day toiling away at the lemonade stand or hustlin' on the corner...you decide?) and freaking out anytime something crazy happens in the game. Basically no concept of reality. Game gets more and more intense and I can see myself, like an out of body experience, swinging my laptop above my head like a mad-man. Downright primitive shit. So needless to say, when that final shot went up my body put my laptop in shot-put formation ready to chuck that thing through the screen. When it rattled out my eyes unglazed, my veins chilled, and I came out of blackout state. It would be like being drunk off 15 beers and the next minute having the alcohol sucked out of you. A true night and day experience.

So if that shot went in, I probably wouldn't be typing to you right now...and I'd be drunk. A slippery slope really. I still think that herpe thing on his lip changed the trajectory of the shot.

That doesn't even make sense.