What The Balls Is Man Law?

I walk into so many walls that can be described as violating man laws. It’s like I am Mr. Magoo out here. I had a friend text the ex of another friend and all hell broke loose. While he’s not officially dating said girl, he still feels that he has perma-dibs on her. Dibs is one of the major components to said law of the man. You can dib the last double cheeseburger in the bag or even dib a Kit-Kat bar, but when you dib girls, it becomes a little questionable, especially for Mr. Magoo cats like me that run into any/all available walls. Hated the cartoon Mr. Magoo by the way. How did his blind ass end up in construction yards or military firing ranges without taking a hit? Digression.com

I’ve sent a text or two to a fine lass, that was immediately followed by an angry text from a dude saying, “That’s my girl man” or “Yo man, what’s the deal.” My only basis these days for relationships is facebook statuses. I’m sorry, I am a product of my generation. So much so, that I find all this shit out via text. No real words are ever exchanged. Some call it anti-social; I call it protecting my ass. Tomato-tomato (e) really.

Frankly, I could give to shits what another guy thinks or says. Unless the facebook status says you’re in a relationship and you have 2-3 profile pictures together, the girl is fair game. Times are hard out here in the concrete tundra that is Boston, so I’m definitely going to hoist up some ill-advised threes out there. You can find me at Imascumbag.org.

I’m going to stop with the statements as websites joke in a little while, but right now it feels a good level of fresh.